I'm baaaaaack

Thanks to a quickly becoming favorite myspace blogger, I rediscovered this blessed site. I had forgotten about it's creation, and the lack of limitations it offers! No one in my family knows about this! No one on my enemies list knows about this! Let's hope I use this power for good.

detonate the side of my mouth.

Ah well it's been a terrible couple of days.  I have been battling tooth pain for a while, and can only control it with massive amounts of ibuprofen.  like, 10-15 at a time.  every 2 hours.  Hopefully one day we will win the lottery and then I can afford to get my teeth fixed without having to sacrifice groceries, or stuff for the kids.  

My husband had a final showdown with the rents.  staying as vague as possible, he's not happy about it, and he's completely angry...I promised him after yesterday we wouldn't speak of it again unless he brought it up.  I left him to his horror movies last night until I was writhing in agony and kicking walls and begging the air, God, anyone to make that shit stop.  Then he was laying next to me, stroking my hair until all I could do was black out from the stress and pain.  I woke up about 2:45 am, remembered I dropped off due to pain, thanked god I felt none at the time, and stared at Mark for awhile.

I got really lucky there or something.  Is it luck?  I have been married for 5 years and still get butterflies when I look at him, still feel things move in me when he looks at me in that smoldering way, still feel comforted in his arms, still desire his body and his mind.  My point is that after all he'd been through yesterday and whatever was on his mind I could only guess but when I was blank with intense pain, he dropped it all to lay with me and stroke my hair and back.  

I love that man.

short and bitter.

I have spent the past 3 days with bubbleguts or throwing up.  I think I have the "bug that is going around" according to everyone I have spoken to...I am feeling slightly improved today but now Jacob and Matthew are throwing up...it's going to be a fun weekend, I can tell already.  

And as for this entry, it ends now because I must do the mad dash for the bathroom.

Vote or Die, Have an Opinion and Die Anyways.

I used to get such a kick out of political debates with anyone who would join in with me.  I loved showing off my knowledge on hot topics, important issues, previous voting histories, personal life issues, etc.  Granted this was with people of either undecided status, similar thoughts of mine or someone who opposed my thoughts intelligently and made me think.  Now, seemingly that is all gone.

It seems I can't go anywhere now without hearing something about current affairs, but rarely is anything said that can't be attributed to racism, lack of knowledge or general ignorance.  I stand behind my candidate of choice, not because he is a "rock star" or because he's black, I stand behind him because after sifting through his policies, listening to his debates, checking his voting record and laying the other candidates stats side by side, Obama is the guy I can believe in.  I have also stated that if McCain wins, I agree with enough of his policies to be relatively satisfied.  It's not like there is much I can do about it either way, but I have resigned myself to either position.  I have been called stupid for voting for the "Muslim", told that my vote will end freedom in mankind, told that he is the Antichrist, he will sell us out to the Taliban, he wasn't really born in America, it goes on.  

I'm not whining because I can't handle a little party criticism, it's just that I hardly ever hear anything about McCain/Palin.  Granted she is skewered in the media constantly, but there is a history of the media swinging one way and the public the other.  And people I have met and talked to support them radically.  "Obama" has become some kind of dirty word, "Palin" is some saviour keyword and I don't understand it.  Once a person told me "Obama is an elitist and we don't need more of that."  This FLOORED me!  Of course he's an elitist, you have to be to run for President of the United States!  And he's highly educated, what's wrong with that?  And let's not forget he started with a single mom on food stamps, he's the American dream personified if we want to get mushy about it.  

I guess I just miss the old days when there wasn't so much pressure placed on November 4th, and one could have an opinion without being told you were stupid, or being practically spit on.   And God help the losing party.  The vindictive side of me wants to see Obama win just so all the fanatical McCain/Palin supporters will hang it up and go home and finally see the turning tide...but I am also getting older and losing my illusions...I fully expect to be the disappointed one come election day.  But I still have hope.

Where is the Manic in my Monday?

Today is nicely laid back, quiet and peaceful. Except for some minor/major turbulence, which I am not thinking about right now, everything is just fine. I think I finally got that peace of mind I was after, I feel like I might actually be on the other side of a few of my dark tunnels. It's kind of quietly amazing.


The party went off really well. Everyone was either dressed up or got that way with glow sticks or whatnot, and everyone looked awesome and we had a great time. Mark did end up sleeping in the back, and I missed him, but I still had a freaking ball. Vic said I could borrow his awesome wig for halloween! I hope to post pictures, probably on my myspace page. I think the birthday girl had a good time but it's hard to tell these days, since she is so wrapped up into her new b/f. Maybe more on that later.

Selfishness is the key to happiness...I said I would revisit it. In retrospect, I don't think I am ready to, because I haven't really gotten the flow of writing back yet. I'm already setting topics with nothing to back them up. Periodically during the weekend I tried to think of blog topics, or what am I going to write about on Monday, how will I write it, will it be any good? I came to the conclusion it doesn't matter if it's good, just that it's me. So I'm still working through the block.

I can't get over the weather right now. Something about this time of year just feels so right, I feel so connected and vital and beautiful, the weather is crisp and everything feels full color, FEELS like color, does this make sense? This is a particularly gorgeous fall as well, and I haven't lost a moment of it. I hope it lasts longer than previous years, I am in full mode to appreciate it.

"slogging" through

Ah, the sweet smell of Friday. And plan changes.

I am throwing my best friend Danielle her 24th birthday party which is also a halloween costume party...but Mark is down with the flu, and I'm not sure if I should have people here...confine him to the back and party down anyways...*which I might do* Poor baby. I was practically yelling at him last night because when he is sick, he is extremely dramatic and I was thinking I should call an ambulance or something. So much so I threatned him with it. He then laid down and quietly watched t.v. Today is not seeing much improvement, but mostly he is sleeping and I am keeping him medicated. What's the point of the flu shot if you actually get the full blown flu from it? Now I am sterilizing things and using germex and lysol wipes...I had the flu once and for the first time this year and I'll pass on it, thanks.

I'm getting used to this site, fiddling with the editing options and setting it all up, so it will probably see some changes in the next couple of weeks. Now if only the writing would improve. :) I stopped writing a while back and everytime I sit down to attempt it I am totally blocked. So I'm thinking maybe I should pick a specific direction, a satire blog or a family blog...but I hate being so limited. It's difficult writing this now, it's coming in spurts. (there is a visual.) So I think this entry will just be forced writing. I can only guess at this being the only way I finally get over the block. It used to be I would get enraged over a topic, or tickled or just need to vent and I could sit down and bang something out, now it takes me 3 hours to think of two things to say and by then I have MOVED ON.

I think I stopped writing after March sometime. We had a family incident (long story) and it burned me really badly, and I ended up with all this extra responsibility and just kind of got lost in it. I don't even read as much as I used to, and I am a voracious reader. And I'm learning I need to read and write in order to 1.) escape and 2.) get my thoughts in order. Let the poison out, express myself, blah blah. I'm also starting to learn (or have learned) that selfishness is the key to happiness. Mull over that if you choose to, as I have done, and I will explain it the next post.

Salutations!

This is me. :)


So I do believe this is my very first true blog, and not a part in parcel deal of a networking website. I hope to do it justice. I am also a huge trendfollower and admitted lemming when it comes to new web thingies, of which I have no shame. :)





To begin, my name is Petra and I am living in Kentucky. I am married, and a mother of 4 children. I am 27. I hate dairy products, live for The Princess Bride and have many useless opinions. Much of what you read here will more than likely not hold your interest if you don't know me.





To this I say, who cares.





I know I have read plenty of useless blogs on the web, so why not one more.





This is kind of the test blog. So more later.





Oh! Vote Obama!